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Young people who do not act in line with their gender stereotype may be subjected to severe homophobic bullying. Boys are stereotyped as sporty and strong decision-makers, and girls are expected to be emotional and expressive. As a result, boys who show their feelings or who are too intimate with other boys are often called 'girls', 'faggots' or 'poofs'. Girls who are considered to be too boyish or who hold feminist views run the risk of being called 'dykes' or 'lesbians'.

“There was not a word, not a mention about being gay.”
Tim
The boundaries for boys’ gender roles are much more rigid than they are for girls. As a result boys have a limited number of ways acceptable to their peer group to express their emotions. This often means that emotional expression between boys may be seen by their peers as homosexual interest. Between girls, in contrast, close friendships that involve embracing, touching and sharing thoughts and feelings are more legitimate and are less likely to be seen by their peers as an indication of homosexuality.

Young people often use words associated with homosexuality as standard insults. This is one way that young people learn it is highly undesirable to be gay. This can silence young people who are experiencing gay feelings and stop them from coming out, and even encourage young gay men to pretend to be heterosexual and join in homophobic taunts to protect themselves.

Many gay and lesbian adults say that they began to identify themselves as 'different' in their secondary school years. In this period, the absence of support, understanding or information was sometimes a source of distress in itself and often magnified their anxieties.

'I was waiting and expecting to hear something about homosexuality, safe sex and different things in sex education. Maybe some information that could help me. But I got nothing.' Tim
'There was not a word, not a mention about being gay.' Luke